What You Choose

Image by Noah Silliman

(by Arjuna Govinda (c) 2019 – Inner Work 4 Men)

One of the sentences that had a most profound effect in my early life was in a book by M. Scott Peck titled ‘The Way Less Travelled’. The very first line in the book was: “Life is difficult.” The truth of it struck me. Life was indeed difficult. Not what I had expected after believing the societal mores of “want more – get more – be happy.”

Somewhere I had picked up the beliefs that life was about getting all cravings satisfied, but once a certain level of lower desires had been experienced, “more” was not more. More became some empty chase for something that was never going to bring me true happiness, or meaning, or purpose in life. That would be found elsewhere.

So, older and wiser, I see that life indeed has an incredible potential, both positive as well as negative, and these days I find deeper peace and fulfilment when I am in gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude for what I do have and appreciation for being alive and somewhat conscious. I also see how other qualities give life more value in a way. 

Generosity and humility give me far more enjoyment of life than wanting and yearning. Having simple needs met, loving people around me, and the camaraderie of being part of Men’s Inner-work. Being satisfied with what I do have rather than constantly seeking more or becoming depressed, having little connection with the true gifts that life does have to offer.

Have you found what works for you? 

Is life fulfilling or still wanting? 

As the poet Hafiz wrote: “…where do you hurry to before your death? Can you find the thing of true value in this world?”

Despite the many challenges in life, one of the thoughts I keep close by is : 

“there is a perfect solution to any problem.” 

It may take time to find it but it does exist.

Inner peace may be elusive at times but it is also possible and constantly available !

It exists within you and often it takes the right effort to find it. 

It may come in the form of being active at work, or in loving someone dear to you, or connection made when sitting quietly and doing nothing.

I believe one of the first tasks is to disengage from the busyness of the world and simply go within. 

To train oneself in how to respond to life and not merely to re-act. 

To be as conscious as able, and to choose one’s responses. It does take practice. To be conscious, to choose and to practice.

All of the wisdom and theories in the world do little without bringing such knowledge into practice.

This is where I find the Men’s Group-work very helpful. 

In the group we get to be together for a time. To speak out about thoughts, feelings, old wounds, past traumas, future hopes and dreams that sit dormant in the heart. Anything at all that is inspired from one’s heart-mind, to say out loud, and feel your connection to a personal truth.

Doing such Inner-work with only men, gives time without distractions. 

There is no competition. 

No one to impress. 

Just other men who also enjoy the support of the group and the opportunity to speak about what is of actual importance to each.

We train ourselves to have respect for self and others, and the processes of being together as a group. In learning to listen, we give each other space to feel what it is like when people actually listen to you. 

You do not have to speak but just sit quietly in that space. You can speak if you feel to, and be present to who you are in truth. How you feel. What presents from within you that would like to be shared, and heard, and given support.

Men’s Group is a time where anything is possible. 

As facilitator, I treat it is a sacred space. A place where you can feel valued for who you are and the efforts you are making in finding connection to your true self. The hero’s journey of taking action or taking time out to just be. Going beyond the apparent safety of day-to-day life, and seeing what unfolds when you answer what calls you – from deep within.

It is wise to remember what the psychologist C. G. Jung wrote: “We are not what has happened to us – we are what we choose to become.”

There is an ongoing Men’s Group held regularly in Daylesford and I can be available to run these Men’s Circles at other venues as required.

Contact Greg Govinda (aka Arjuna) for any further details.

I am also available for one-to-one counselling sessions. Walk and talk. Sit and share. Explore and identify what needs attention; what matters to you, and any changes you feel might be relevant to you opening more to a more joyful, or meaningful, experience of life.

(c) 2019. Greg Govinda (Arjuna)
www.innerwork4men.com

greggovinda@gmail.com